=// i'm back!! (lightweight) \\=

im back!!!

.l i g h t w e i g h t.

been gone for a liddle minute..sorry blogettes..

life has been throwing meeh curve ball after curve ball

buh i have avoided gettin striked out...

hit a few home-runs thoe...

new car -----> "Scion '08"

prep'n the letterman jacket && sweater for my clothing line

as well as new tees && even a few cut && sew pieces

&& finally droppin a few of the unnecessary ppl in mah life

guess i'll have to fully update yall at a later time...

maybe today..if get enough time to really write a/b it all...

i do miss having the time to "really" just write freely!

welps..

smoOches && dueces

"natalia dunkz"

thank yuh && hey hi hello to mah NEW followers!!

beam meeh up scOtt mescudi!

=//broken hearted girl\\=

"hi...mah name is natalia dunkz && i am afraid of a broken heart"

i told mah homeboi i was afraid of a broken heart...thats why i didnt talk to white guys &&usually i wudd just ignore the advice he gave but in this case i thought he might be right... previously i had decided to nawt talk to any black doodes becuase of my previous experiences with them && meeh always ending up hurt...then after so many people telling meeh that i was wrong for stereotyping a whole race of doodes because of my previous experiences with them && my mom thinking i needed counseling for nawt liking black doodes...i decided that maybe i was wrong...maybe i was going overboard....

i decided to give one more black doode a chance...&& guess what...

nope..i was right...

sad to say buh im nawt worng about this...black doodes are nawt for meeh..

"to continue to do the same thing over && over

expecting different results= INSANITY"

why continue to talk to black doodes when in the long run its just gonna end up bad..no matter who the doode is..no matter what "seems" different about him...as long as hes black its gonna turn out the same..

a lot of people said.."yuhr choosing the wrong doodes" buh i mean come on....how am i choosing the wrong doodes...i weed out the doodes who do not meet what im looking for in a potential boyfriend && i keep the rest..buh with black doodes it seems as if they are all so fake && put on the biggest facade when yuh first meet them that yuh dont know who yuhr really talking to && end up dating a complete stranger in the end.

im nawt tryna bash black men because i mean im black...buh im just speaking the truth....before deciding to give that one black doode a chance to see if i was wrong i was doing great...only talking to white doodes because they treated meeh better....&& no i dont mean by buying meeh shit cuz thats what everyone thought it was ...buh i mean as far as having respect for meeh && treating meeh as i shudd be treated... basically they just have better morals && values then the black doodes out here in cali...buh yeah...then i give this black doode a chance who seemed to meet almost every requirement....like he had a job...was in school..had a car...was hella kewl...no akward silences when we hung..lol..wasnt a gang member...wasnt tryna pimp females...he was just a kewl asz doode...then it awl flipped...&& the stranger came out...haha

fast forwarding...i actually started to like him (the person i met in the beginning) && then ended up getting hurt because he became someone else && i wasnt attracted to that at awl... i asked mah self many questions before making the decision to go back to being happy...

&& sad to say it buh happiness isnt && never will be with a black doode at this point...

i'd rather be happy with a white doode && stop with the black doodes now so that i wont continue to be the "broken hearted girl"...

misz talia dunkz

=//i put on for mah country\\=

"i put oooooooon" (in a kanye voice..lol)

so lately i've been tryna get more into the culture && history of mah familia && speand time with them all...which is kinda hard cuz we're spread out across the US and a few of the rellies are in central america..lol...

so after doing much airline && hotel research i decided i am going to panama at least for a good two weeks!!! im so excited..because mah pops always tells meeh stories about mah g-rents//his parents (r.i.p papa && grammy) when they lived in panama && how beautiful it is there && traditions they had && it really just amp'd meeh up to get more into mah panamanian side. i told mah homeboi this && he responded w.."yuh need to get into yuhr black side first.."lol...funny cuz people think just cuz im from la jolla && talk more on the proper side instead of ghetto side that im nawt in tune w mah black side..which i am...trust meeh....buh im a la jolla girl && will be forever..lol..i remember i used to tell people i was portugese && black instead ove panamanian && black because to meeh panamanian just seemed black && portugese seemed more exotic....buh as i matured i realized how great ove a country//race we are! so yeah....

"we da best...who nicccca...we!!!!" (in a dj khaled voice) ha ha

back to mah FAVORITE country..lol...so ive been looking around at hotels && even ticket prices && am so prepared...i havent told mah pops yet..becuase hes a worry wart && might say no...which as everyone knows..i HATE to hear..lol..so im tryna think ove a way to tell him about it so he can get the tickets && hotel for meeh! since im nawt ms. richie rich...i need him to say yes...plus if he says yes then i dont have to get the hotel && i can just stay w the familia!! yup...that'd be tony the tiger!!!

i can only hope he says yes..i mean he HAS to...at this point in mah life i only know mah panamanian cuzzins who live in cali && thats even lightweight cuz its nawt like they are in daygo...more like pasadena ( one ove mah cuzzos was one of the mains in pharrells "frontin" video..Lanisha..love yuh cuzzo!) && ish...&& i mean why wuddnt he want meeh to get more in touch with mah panamanian side while traveling the world...the way i see it...its like killing two birds with one plan ticket..lol...plus mah pops is hella into his "culture" i guess yuh can say..like he knows all the dishes (which are yummy!!) ..he speaks spanish (unlike i) he knows the tamborito (a spanish dance over in panama) && hes been there himself a few times...

so with that being said...i KNOW he HAS to say YES!!!!!!!!! he better...lol...

so with meeh being so sure of getting a yes on mah panama quest....

the only question left

is whos down for the trip...holla at a gangsta(thats meeh)

misz talia dunkz

*****

haha..now im changing mah theme song...

new shit is

"gangstas dont die..

they get toned && they move to panama"

(instead ove la jolla..lol)

=//questions && answers\\=

so many questions lingering in the air
as yuh hold meeh close && tight
yet I'm nawt so sure if I want the answers
how can I be sure about us
when we haven't had the biggest && most important talk yet
all I know is that yuh meet the minimum && maximum requirements that other doodes always fail to meet..
a breath of fresh air..that's what yuh are to meeh && yuh said I am to yuh...
yet we're still at this same place...standing still..with those questions lingering in the air...
with every touch..every kiss..every moment of passion
unanswered questions still remain...
am I...? are we...? are yuh...? do we...? do yuh?
dots pertaining to the words I just can't get out
words I want to simply utter in yuhr ear while yuh kiss me oh so softly...
words I want to scream out loud while the moment is just right
words I want to get out...but can't
c O n f u s i n g.
thats the only word to describe this "thing" we have going on
that's the only word to describe my emotions of "us"
O f f i c i a l.
that's the word to describe what I "think" I want
thats the only word to describe what it "shudd" be between us
but I'm still nawt even sure that's what I want....
the connection we have was instant && so strong...
I feel as if I've known yuh for years instead of months...
so yuh wudd think "official" would be what I want
reality is I have only know yuh for a few months
so I can't know if what yuh say is real
I can't know if yuh are" really" what I am looking for or if its all a facade
I'm not sure if I can actually "trust" yuh
actions speak louder than words buh in this case they are both so confusing
they match up yet they don't...
yuhr actions say so much yet so liddle
yuhr words say so liddle yet so much
simply lost && confused about us
with so many questions still lingering in the air
as yuh hold me close && tight w a kiss meeh goodnight

yuhr STiLL the one i want...

misz talia dunkz

=//r a n d O m\\=

sometimes mah mind wanders away from meeh....

&& random thoughts come a/b...

-fruit snacks are best paired with baked original lays

-looking at meeh yuh'd never guess i have one ove the oddest talents that i am the best at

-i find [him] to be everything i want in a doode..yet idk how to tell him

[c O n f u s i n g]

- "cocaine" is mah favorite word (buh i wudd never do it!)

-i hate HATE hate when doodes call meeh babe//baby when im nawt in a lightweight or heavyweight relationship w them

- 99.9% of cereals make meeh automatically throw up (suxx)

-ppl say im nawt black enuff cuz..i hate chicken (w bones)...hot sause...ranch (on everything)

-im planning a trip to panama to meet some of mah pops side of the family

[e x c i t i n g]

-cupcakes are the best thing since breathing

dUnkz!!!!

=//c O n f e s s i O n\\=

[ l O v e . t h e m]
after a long talk with mah mom about mah recent dating decisions(only dating white guys)...i realized that she (&& yes all ove mah black homebois) was right...i shuddnt just close the door on all black doodes...i mean as picky as i am && as hard as it is to find a decent black doode here in daygo...i do eventually want that "black love" as they call it...it does seem kinda fairy tale like in these day && age esp. because mah attraction to them is nawt as strong as it was when i was younger && daygo is full of grimey daygo doodes who dont even meet the minimum criteria...buh i do rarely meet a kewl one worth getting the time to know. i just dont usually let mahself actually get to know him because i'll think..."at the end of the day he's still a black doode && that means drama" buh maybe i am letting my "new standard" keep meeh from finding a good doode...maybe i do need to open that door back up buh just be cautious of who i let in...
maybe this time around i shudd give this "black doode" the benefit of the doubt...nawt judge him on the previous mistakes of the few other black doodes i've talked to. maybe i need to go into it with the glass half full this time..lol..

these last few day i have learned so much about mahself && usually i am the type who doenst care what someone says..i wont listen...like my homebois will tell meeh why im nawt meeting the right black doodes && that i shuddnt just date white doodes && i'll say "NO..its nawt meeh cuz im looking for the good ones..buh there are none..." now its like...doode...they were so right...i mean honestly....in the past i admit i have kinda talked to the wrong doodes (besides darnell!ily!) ...knowing that it wasnt kewl from the jump buh just thinkin...hey...maybe it'll work out....WRONG! it never works out when its wrong from the start. i mean im nawt the type who starts talking to a doode thinking that i can change him to fit mah standards..beause honestly...thats like iMPOSSiBLE...tryna change a doode actually just makes him worst!lol...

i really do wanna have that black love..like michelle && barack...b and jay...dawn && que...rihanna && chris (before the beatdown!lol) nah mostly i want that black love like the original black power couple (OBPC)...
jada && will
lol...honestly they are like the dopest couple....haha
now i just need to crack the door && see who knocks..
=]



talia dunkz

//=idOl x inspiratiOn\\=

scOtt mescudi x va$htie kola

idolxinspiration= motivation && determination
[ l O v e . t h e m]

misz dunkz

=//winning to lose\\=

"saw mah bank account like where is all the O's at?"

- big sean

the title of this post explains exactly how i feel...like honestly...i work hella hard then go to skool && feel as if im nawt even taking one step forward... more like two steps back...

i swear from july 08 to december 08 i took major steps... i got a great job...got a car...&& moved into mah own condo... now its like everything has stopped...like im happy with mah job buh i wanna pursue mah dreams...nawt work for the government forever && i not only want a new car buh need a new car cuz the transmission is eff'n up...&& i love mah condo && eveything in it buh get lonely there at times && just wanna get married already so i can share it all with someone....iont know what it is buh i feel as if im just sittin still....stuck...on pause...

damn..

i need movement in mah life...progress..boxes checked off on this list of goals...dreams to be reached...maybe i've lost focus....yeah thats must be it... i mean i havent been going to church...ive been out partying every weekend && most weekdays...ive been going on random shopping trips that get meeh nowhere...ha ha..buh ive been having fun (well now its starting to wear down)...nawt saying that i wasnt having fun before buh i was living too structured...it was basically work...school...homework...church on sunday && back at it...now its more like work..school...party...shop...party...homework...girls night...sleep//nap...&& back at it....i like that...buh as i can see its far from being focused...

"focused on mah focus"

haha...i used to say that on the daily...cuz i was...damn doode...i feel like im slacking...like i've confused all of mah desires wants && needs up...like iont know what i want or what im doing in life anymore...the only thing im sure of is that i wanna do whats right so that ultimately i get to relax in heaven...

thats it...besides that everything is a gigantic confusing blurr....

tryna get away from the stress from work..personal life...bills...starting this clothing line..

&& skool...

esp with finals && the one year anniversary of darnell passing coming up...yeah..too much stress!

odd yet funny to think that one day ima look back on all that im going thru rii now && think

"wow..how far ive come...if only i wudda knew then what i know now"

cant wait til that day...til then ima...

"just close mah eyes && think of how heaven feels"

-blu

t.dunkz

ilyximy=poOk

=// r a n d O m \\=

-why do we call birds && fish by their names when we're eatin it

(turkey, chicken, salmon, albacore)...

buh when its cow or pig we change the name to

beef, steak, pork, sausage?

are they tryna trick us?

(i know i know...its hella random..buh let that simmer in ya head)

natalia dunkz

=//watch yuhr 6's\\=

its a damn shame when yuhr asz is so comsumed with someone else that yuh waste 99.9% of yuhr day speakin on their name && who && what they did && didnt do...that yuh arent even on top of yuhr own shit. i mean c'mon now...if yuhr gonna spend the majority of yuhr day awl up in someone elses business...then why nawt make sure yuhr shet is in check first...

yuh cant say shit about anyone else when yuhr GROWN asz has no job...no car...house hoppin..dirty tack asz clothes...&& a busted weave or hair cut.

( yes yuh niglets are included in this one as well)

yuh just cant do it...because a majority of the time and by majority i mean 110% of the time yuh are speaking on someone who HAS their shit together physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, && spiritually && looks better than yuh...

(its a fact that ugly people are never hated on....trust meeh...i learned this while getting mah BA in psychology..ha ha) nah...buh i am right cuz who hates on ugly people?? NO ONE...i mean we may stare or take a double glance back...buh HATE//GOSSIP about em....never! lol

so yeah it just erks meeh how doodettes hella be tryna be all around yuh && tryna dress like yuh...do their hair && makeup like yuh...talk like yuh...walk like yuh..change their college && major to yuhrs...shit..probably even try && piss like yuh if they cudd...buh then they be the ones sittin around hatin the MOSt on yuh...h aha...funny...&& doodes..yes doodes...even yall are becoming the new hatin asz gossip queens on the streets... real shit...spreadin everyones business then be actin like yuh dont have time for drama when yuhr asz created it from the jump...ol mother goose asz niglets...stay story tellin like yuh && yuhr mamas life depends on it...then walkin around the block with yuhr faded asz "STOP SNiTCHiNG" TEE ON...gtfoh wit all that..lol

sheeeeit...these days iont even worry about doodettes hatin && gossip'n...its mostly the doodes...

weezy said it best:

"STOP hatin on a nixxa

that is a weak emotion

the lady of a nixxa?"

well nawt the lady buh the BiTCH of a nixxa...

(note:: iont like the word nixxa...too vulgar..i perfer niglet..)

buh then again like i mentioned in a previous blog post...men are the new bitches!!!

complaining..gossiping..&& awl that other lame asz shit yall are doing nowadays is nawt even the business...&& if yuhr doode has another females name in his mouth just a liddle too much...i think yuh need to be worried...hes either on the fruit loop side ove things or he's got something going on with her && is tryna make yuh feel more secure in the situation...so while yuhr sittin around engagin in the gossip with him...yuh need to be worried about where yall's relationship is going...i mean when does that shet...

gossips with their nixxa!!?? ha ha..lames with no fuck'n life...honestly like get a hobby or somethin...it already erks the eff outta meeh when niglets are too emotional so i can just imagine a niglet who im interested in runnin to meeh with some gossip...ugh..automatically unattractive!

&& another thing...doodes..stop bein so quick to hate && talk hit a/b another doode (most likely yuhr homeboi) buh when a female asks..."is he cute"..yuh come with that.."iont judge nixxas" line..haha...remember: if yuh can hate..yuh can congradulate!

woMAN DoWN!!

misz talia dunkz

(im nawt saying i dont engage in gossip..i mean who doesnt..buh i do stay away fom it as much as possible because as the saying goes..

"those who gossip a/b others with yuh...gossip a/b yuh to others"

&& like mah pops tells meeh: "watch yuhr six's")

=//if....and....then maybe.....\\=

from the jump yuh && i

talked..aimed..texted everyday all day long

had the perfect hang out sessions...

gave each other nicknames..

found out so much about each other in just a matter of days..

we connected instantly
which is why I'm so lost to why we fell off all of a sudden...usually I'd blame myself for being too picky&&guarded or yuh for just being weird && lame buh in this case it was neither....I actually let mah guard down&&opened up to yuh...&& yuh...yuh were far from weird or lame...more like interesting && fun..I looked forward to getting aims from yuh while i was working...having a textersation about random ish or just a call before yuh left work..I looked forward to meeting up..grabbin a bite to eat..&&just chillin at the cribbie...I looked forward to the time we'd spend&&the moments we'd share...I looked forward to yuh...

yeah there was that one thing holding meeh back from letting yuh ALL the way in...buh thats from previous experiences with people of "that kind"..besides that i loved our friendship...honestly it was one that i know i will remember forever...all laughter...no dumb asz arguments...just pure fun...

sometimes i wonder if we hadnt taken that one step too far if we'd still be the same...i mean we can both act like its the same every time we see each other...buh honestly...we both know its different...i knew it was different from the moment we were sittin there tryna play shit off like it was kewl...crackin jokes && shit..haha..buh deep down our faces said it all...

thats why i hold out on every hang out session now...cuz i know it wont be the same...

honestly...i'd rather just see yuh when i see yuh like we have been...

plus im tired of having to avoid the same question yuh continuously ask...

"what happened between us?"

because honestly i don't have an answer for yuh yet

thats why i play it off by laughing && changing the subject...

i wish it cudd be the same buh now mah perceptions of yuh have changed a liddle...

maybe because i just wanted us to stay friends && it seemed like yuh were pushing for more...

besides the fact that yuh are the ONLY black doode i even find mahself even attracted to...

physically && mentally we connect && yuh just match mah fly in every way possible... buh i just appreciate the friendship too much to ruin it by taking it further && end up losing yuhr friendship...

when people used to say "i just dunno where to go from here"...i used to think...duh keep it pushin...buh in this situation its like really.....

where DO we go from here?

natalia dunkz

=//i am S U P E R W O M A N\\=

saw this somewhere && it made meeh smile!

"Woman Have Superpowers

We Can Get Wet Without Water

Bleed Without Injury

We Make Boneless Meat Hard

&&

We Can Make Men Eat Without Cooking."

ps... real men eat pussy =]

woMAN DOWN,

misz talia dunkz

=//scavenger hunt\\=

y u m m y

theses were the best!

gonna have to find em somewhere!!!

i already found the cereal!bought 5 boxes!!!

[marquize && marquise && candie..i told yall niglets they used to have the treats cereal!!

fuxx yo rasisin bran mutha fuxx'n crunch!!!ha ha]

t. dunkz

=//r a n d O m\\=

-do deaf people moan when they have sex?

- how do blind people have sex?

-whats up with elves selling food...keeber, lucky charms, snap krackle and pop? i mean how are those two things even related?

- why do we call it "toilet" paper when its for our asz...it shudd be called "asz" paper?

-how do yuh hand cuff an arm amputee?

-why do fat people wear skinny jeans && skinny people wear bubble pants?

-who do they call them bubble pants && nawt fat pants?

-now that dressing like a "nerd" is cool...who gets picked on in school? the people who dress "hood"?

-why does every use drake && wayne songs in their aways to explain themselves or their feeling for their significant other?

-why do animals cartoons have pets?

-Why is Pluto Mickeys pet&& live in a dog house...but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car?

just a few thoughts....

d u n k z