h e l l o...is it meeh yuhr looking for?

haha

i have been extremely m.i.a...

huess its cuz im just not really a social networking type of person...

i mean i deleted both of my myspaces back in the beginning of '08

and facebook...umm.. i've been off that for a hawt one...

i see it as..i have a REAL LIFE with REAL FRIENDS

so iont feel the need to hit anyone up over MS or FB

when i can easily drive over to there house && have an actual conversation..haha

buuuuuut...

recently i decided to try some new type of netwrking

since i've been workin on the line && ish..i mean is is good to stay in contact with those far && even possilbly make new friends...

so i decided to get .....

&& also...

yes..i have subcome to society && joined the forces..

haha

so far im still gettin the hang ove it all...

but skype is mah shit by faaaaaar!!!

but chea...

follow meeh or skype meeh

(if yuh please)

hernameisdunkz

same name on both.

with dunkz && love,

misz talia dunkz

=// l i f e \=

wuddnt that be awesOme.....

=// O n e . y e a r \\=

darnell anthony smith

03.05.88-06.15.08

ilyximy=poOk

one year ove being hurt..sad..confused..&& simply lost in this world

i love yuh babe!

-natalia a smith

=// t r u e . l O v e \\=

t r u e . l O v e

OCTOBER 2004

JUNiOR YEAR

iT ALL SEEMS SO PERFECT

YUH HAVE THiS AFFiNiTY LiKE NO OTHER

SO YUH START TO GET CLOSER && CLOSER...

DATES..

ANNiVERSARIES..

PROMiSE RiNGS..

SHARiNG LOCKERS..

THEN AFTER ALL OF THE TEARS..

REVEALiNG OVE FEARS && YEARS..

LAUGHS GiGGLES & SNEARS...

YUH START TO DRiFT

FARTHER && FARTHER APART

YELLiNG..

CURSiNG..

BREAKiNG UP && MAKiNG UP..

WONDERiNG iF iT'S EVEN MEANT TO BE..

TiL ALL THE DOWNS SEEM LiKE UPS

&& ALL THE UPS SEEM LiKE DOWNS

OTHERS COME....

BUH YET..YUH && HE HAVE THiS BOND...

A BOND LiKE NO OTHER..

A BOND THAT NO OTHER CUDD POSSiBLY EVER COME BETWEEN..

A BOND CALL'D LOVE......

SO NO MATTER WHO COMES...

THEY NEVER LAST..

BECAUSE iN THE END..

YUH NAWT ONLY WANT..

BUH NEED HiM

&& HE NAWT ONLY WANTS..

BUH NEEDS YUH..

YUH LOOK iN HiS BEAUTiFUL BROWN EYES

&& HE DOESNT HAVE TO SAY A WORD...

BECAUSE YUH KNO iTS THERE...

YUH CAN SEE iT..

ALL THE LOVE..COMPASSiON && CARE iN THE WORLD...

RiGHT THERE iN HIS EYES..

&& WHEN HE LOOKS AT YUH HE CAN SEE THE SAME...

HE KNOWS YUH LOVE HiM..

HE CAN SEE iT iN YUHR EYES..

HEAR iT iN YUHR WORDS..

FEEL iT iN YUHR TOUCH..

NO MATTER HOW MUCH YUH RESiST..

YUHR DESTiNED FOR EACH OTHER..

DESTiNED TO BE TOGETHER..

DESTiNED TO SHARE EACH OTHERS DREAMS..

DESTiNED TO BE EACH OTHERS REALiTiES..

POiNT-> bLANK_ PERiOD.

&& THAT RiGHT THERE iS WHEN YUH HAVE FOUND

THE ONE TRUE LOVE THAT GOD HAS PLACED ON THiS EARTH FOR YUH...

THE ONE LOVE THAT iS TRUE..

THE ONE LOVE THAT iS PURE..

THE LOVE OVE YUHR LiFE...

i LOVE YUH

DARNELL ANTHONY SMiTH

03.05.88-06.15.08

ilyximy=poOk

R.i.P

NOW && FOREVER=DAS&&NAS

misz talia dunkz

=//simply lost && confused\\=

june 15 2008 was the worst day ove mah life...

mah boyfriend ove 4 years Darnell was taken away from meeh..

still to this day i have had none ove mah questions answered...

who did this cowardly act ove violence?

why did this coward kill an innocent young man?

how cudd God allow this to happen?

how cudd one coward affect soooo many peoples lives?

monday will be a year since this horrific day...

monday will be the day i have been dreading for months

monday will be another hard horrific day

im so lost to why this shit happens...

"the good die young " is like one ove the truest statements every spoken!

i miss yuh darnell && yuh already know this..i'll make sure i bump jeezy hella loud on mah system all day..watch as much family guy as possible..eat a cheeseburger && fries && drink a hi-c just for yuh babe..&& all while wearing yuhr jordan basketball shorts w a white tee && mah j's...chillin like old times..lol..

damn babe...i really need yuh buh i know it just aint bout to happen...

i know yuh got mah back thoe && thank yuh for all ove the blessings..

from the condo to the dopest job ever..to the brand new whip...

&& also for one ove the best jeezy mixtapes ever!!!

thank yuh for loving meeh while yuh were here the way yuh did..

thank yuh for teaching meeeh soooo much that i still use to this day && always will use..

thank yuh for treating meeh like a queen && giving meeh everything i wanted & needed!

thank yuh for being the best role modle possible for mah liddle baby bro..yuhr liddle cuzzins..&& yuhr liddle bros..

thanlk yuh for arguin w meeh a/b dumb shit so that i wudd realize the obvious...

thank yuh for picking meeh up at the craziest hours ove the night && gettin meeh home safely..

thank yuh for making the best alcoholic slushies at yuhr g'mas house!

thank yuh for gettin meeh pills && soup && gatorade when i had the worst cramps!

thank yuh for carrying meeh up the stairs to mah bed && nawt dropping meeh.

thank yuh for teaching meeh how to workout && getting meeh addicted..like yuh..

thank yuh for installing in meeh so much morals && values && respect for mahself..

thank yuh for the long walks to 7-11 when we needed fresh air!

thank yuh for being mah first everything && being sooo patient && respectful...

thank yuh fro doing it bigger than any other doode from the newest cadillac cts to having the best fits known to mankind..

thank yuh for being the best man yuh cudd be at only the age ove 20..

thank yuh for teachin meeh to love && how to be love..

thank yuh for being yuh...

darnell anthony smith

yuh know i got yuh forever && i know yuh got meeh

yuh will always be mah pookaluke!

i can still hear yuhr voice...

"yuh know we keep that portugese girl..natalia dunkz"

lmao

yuhr were a mess babe..buh i loved it!

thank yuh for the memories && best moments ove mah life!

ilyximy=pOok

my mom recieved this book as a gift && texted meeh 2 tell meeh that if i was going to be dating then i NEEDED to read this book...lol...in response i had told her i think like a man on the daily so iont need to read the words of one..

on && one thoe...its funny how a majority of woman are so gunghoe over this book...i mean actually reading this shit to get pointers on how to deal with a man... i just dont get it...i mean i learn how to deal with men from my previous experiences of dealing with men or shall i say aszholes....

&& i like how he (steve) says to "think like a man"..WTF.. its a proven fact that women mature faster than men && that they ususally are smarter then them as well... so why shudd we as women dumb down to play mans games... im just nawt willing to do that in order to "get" a man... i'd rather get w a man that iont have to read a book or play games to figure out...which brings meeh to another GREAT point...

this book is obviously for woman tryna get a "black man" because i tell yuh....iont have to do any ove the shit i had to do//go thru with a black man that i go thru with mah doode ( hes nawt black)...so i guess if yuh wanna dumb yuhrself down to the average black mans level in order to find "love" then i guess i'll see yuh in barnes && nobles purchasing this book above...

&& when that relationship fails..puhleeeze dont play steve..

blame yuhrself for conorming to society..feeling as if yuh need to be the next jay-z && beyonce && listening to a man who just left his 2nd wife (yup 2nd wife..2nd divorce) for a younger woman....

until next time...

with diamondz && dunkz

misz dunkz

=// i'm back!! (lightweight) \\=

im back!!!

.l i g h t w e i g h t.

been gone for a liddle minute..sorry blogettes..

life has been throwing meeh curve ball after curve ball

buh i have avoided gettin striked out...

hit a few home-runs thoe...

new car -----> "Scion '08"

prep'n the letterman jacket && sweater for my clothing line

as well as new tees && even a few cut && sew pieces

&& finally droppin a few of the unnecessary ppl in mah life

guess i'll have to fully update yall at a later time...

maybe today..if get enough time to really write a/b it all...

i do miss having the time to "really" just write freely!

welps..

smoOches && dueces

"natalia dunkz"

thank yuh && hey hi hello to mah NEW followers!!

beam meeh up scOtt mescudi!

=//broken hearted girl\\=

"hi...mah name is natalia dunkz && i am afraid of a broken heart"

i told mah homeboi i was afraid of a broken heart...thats why i didnt talk to white guys &&usually i wudd just ignore the advice he gave but in this case i thought he might be right... previously i had decided to nawt talk to any black doodes becuase of my previous experiences with them && meeh always ending up hurt...then after so many people telling meeh that i was wrong for stereotyping a whole race of doodes because of my previous experiences with them && my mom thinking i needed counseling for nawt liking black doodes...i decided that maybe i was wrong...maybe i was going overboard....

i decided to give one more black doode a chance...&& guess what...

nope..i was right...

sad to say buh im nawt worng about this...black doodes are nawt for meeh..

"to continue to do the same thing over && over

expecting different results= INSANITY"

why continue to talk to black doodes when in the long run its just gonna end up bad..no matter who the doode is..no matter what "seems" different about him...as long as hes black its gonna turn out the same..

a lot of people said.."yuhr choosing the wrong doodes" buh i mean come on....how am i choosing the wrong doodes...i weed out the doodes who do not meet what im looking for in a potential boyfriend && i keep the rest..buh with black doodes it seems as if they are all so fake && put on the biggest facade when yuh first meet them that yuh dont know who yuhr really talking to && end up dating a complete stranger in the end.

im nawt tryna bash black men because i mean im black...buh im just speaking the truth....before deciding to give that one black doode a chance to see if i was wrong i was doing great...only talking to white doodes because they treated meeh better....&& no i dont mean by buying meeh shit cuz thats what everyone thought it was ...buh i mean as far as having respect for meeh && treating meeh as i shudd be treated... basically they just have better morals && values then the black doodes out here in cali...buh yeah...then i give this black doode a chance who seemed to meet almost every requirement....like he had a job...was in school..had a car...was hella kewl...no akward silences when we hung..lol..wasnt a gang member...wasnt tryna pimp females...he was just a kewl asz doode...then it awl flipped...&& the stranger came out...haha

fast forwarding...i actually started to like him (the person i met in the beginning) && then ended up getting hurt because he became someone else && i wasnt attracted to that at awl... i asked mah self many questions before making the decision to go back to being happy...

&& sad to say it buh happiness isnt && never will be with a black doode at this point...

i'd rather be happy with a white doode && stop with the black doodes now so that i wont continue to be the "broken hearted girl"...

misz talia dunkz

=//i put on for mah country\\=

"i put oooooooon" (in a kanye voice..lol)

so lately i've been tryna get more into the culture && history of mah familia && speand time with them all...which is kinda hard cuz we're spread out across the US and a few of the rellies are in central america..lol...

so after doing much airline && hotel research i decided i am going to panama at least for a good two weeks!!! im so excited..because mah pops always tells meeh stories about mah g-rents//his parents (r.i.p papa && grammy) when they lived in panama && how beautiful it is there && traditions they had && it really just amp'd meeh up to get more into mah panamanian side. i told mah homeboi this && he responded w.."yuh need to get into yuhr black side first.."lol...funny cuz people think just cuz im from la jolla && talk more on the proper side instead of ghetto side that im nawt in tune w mah black side..which i am...trust meeh....buh im a la jolla girl && will be forever..lol..i remember i used to tell people i was portugese && black instead ove panamanian && black because to meeh panamanian just seemed black && portugese seemed more exotic....buh as i matured i realized how great ove a country//race we are! so yeah....

"we da best...who nicccca...we!!!!" (in a dj khaled voice) ha ha

back to mah FAVORITE country..lol...so ive been looking around at hotels && even ticket prices && am so prepared...i havent told mah pops yet..becuase hes a worry wart && might say no...which as everyone knows..i HATE to hear..lol..so im tryna think ove a way to tell him about it so he can get the tickets && hotel for meeh! since im nawt ms. richie rich...i need him to say yes...plus if he says yes then i dont have to get the hotel && i can just stay w the familia!! yup...that'd be tony the tiger!!!

i can only hope he says yes..i mean he HAS to...at this point in mah life i only know mah panamanian cuzzins who live in cali && thats even lightweight cuz its nawt like they are in daygo...more like pasadena ( one ove mah cuzzos was one of the mains in pharrells "frontin" video..Lanisha..love yuh cuzzo!) && ish...&& i mean why wuddnt he want meeh to get more in touch with mah panamanian side while traveling the world...the way i see it...its like killing two birds with one plan ticket..lol...plus mah pops is hella into his "culture" i guess yuh can say..like he knows all the dishes (which are yummy!!) ..he speaks spanish (unlike i) he knows the tamborito (a spanish dance over in panama) && hes been there himself a few times...

so with that being said...i KNOW he HAS to say YES!!!!!!!!! he better...lol...

so with meeh being so sure of getting a yes on mah panama quest....

the only question left

is whos down for the trip...holla at a gangsta(thats meeh)

misz talia dunkz

*****

haha..now im changing mah theme song...

new shit is

"gangstas dont die..

they get toned && they move to panama"

(instead ove la jolla..lol)

=//questions && answers\\=

so many questions lingering in the air
as yuh hold meeh close && tight
yet I'm nawt so sure if I want the answers
how can I be sure about us
when we haven't had the biggest && most important talk yet
all I know is that yuh meet the minimum && maximum requirements that other doodes always fail to meet..
a breath of fresh air..that's what yuh are to meeh && yuh said I am to yuh...
yet we're still at this same place...standing still..with those questions lingering in the air...
with every touch..every kiss..every moment of passion
unanswered questions still remain...
am I...? are we...? are yuh...? do we...? do yuh?
dots pertaining to the words I just can't get out
words I want to simply utter in yuhr ear while yuh kiss me oh so softly...
words I want to scream out loud while the moment is just right
words I want to get out...but can't
c O n f u s i n g.
thats the only word to describe this "thing" we have going on
that's the only word to describe my emotions of "us"
O f f i c i a l.
that's the word to describe what I "think" I want
thats the only word to describe what it "shudd" be between us
but I'm still nawt even sure that's what I want....
the connection we have was instant && so strong...
I feel as if I've known yuh for years instead of months...
so yuh wudd think "official" would be what I want
reality is I have only know yuh for a few months
so I can't know if what yuh say is real
I can't know if yuh are" really" what I am looking for or if its all a facade
I'm not sure if I can actually "trust" yuh
actions speak louder than words buh in this case they are both so confusing
they match up yet they don't...
yuhr actions say so much yet so liddle
yuhr words say so liddle yet so much
simply lost && confused about us
with so many questions still lingering in the air
as yuh hold me close && tight w a kiss meeh goodnight

yuhr STiLL the one i want...

misz talia dunkz

=//r a n d O m\\=

sometimes mah mind wanders away from meeh....

&& random thoughts come a/b...

-fruit snacks are best paired with baked original lays

-looking at meeh yuh'd never guess i have one ove the oddest talents that i am the best at

-i find [him] to be everything i want in a doode..yet idk how to tell him

[c O n f u s i n g]

- "cocaine" is mah favorite word (buh i wudd never do it!)

-i hate HATE hate when doodes call meeh babe//baby when im nawt in a lightweight or heavyweight relationship w them

- 99.9% of cereals make meeh automatically throw up (suxx)

-ppl say im nawt black enuff cuz..i hate chicken (w bones)...hot sause...ranch (on everything)

-im planning a trip to panama to meet some of mah pops side of the family

[e x c i t i n g]

-cupcakes are the best thing since breathing

dUnkz!!!!

=//c O n f e s s i O n\\=

[ l O v e . t h e m]
after a long talk with mah mom about mah recent dating decisions(only dating white guys)...i realized that she (&& yes all ove mah black homebois) was right...i shuddnt just close the door on all black doodes...i mean as picky as i am && as hard as it is to find a decent black doode here in daygo...i do eventually want that "black love" as they call it...it does seem kinda fairy tale like in these day && age esp. because mah attraction to them is nawt as strong as it was when i was younger && daygo is full of grimey daygo doodes who dont even meet the minimum criteria...buh i do rarely meet a kewl one worth getting the time to know. i just dont usually let mahself actually get to know him because i'll think..."at the end of the day he's still a black doode && that means drama" buh maybe i am letting my "new standard" keep meeh from finding a good doode...maybe i do need to open that door back up buh just be cautious of who i let in...
maybe this time around i shudd give this "black doode" the benefit of the doubt...nawt judge him on the previous mistakes of the few other black doodes i've talked to. maybe i need to go into it with the glass half full this time..lol..

these last few day i have learned so much about mahself && usually i am the type who doenst care what someone says..i wont listen...like my homebois will tell meeh why im nawt meeting the right black doodes && that i shuddnt just date white doodes && i'll say "NO..its nawt meeh cuz im looking for the good ones..buh there are none..." now its like...doode...they were so right...i mean honestly....in the past i admit i have kinda talked to the wrong doodes (besides darnell!ily!) ...knowing that it wasnt kewl from the jump buh just thinkin...hey...maybe it'll work out....WRONG! it never works out when its wrong from the start. i mean im nawt the type who starts talking to a doode thinking that i can change him to fit mah standards..beause honestly...thats like iMPOSSiBLE...tryna change a doode actually just makes him worst!lol...

i really do wanna have that black love..like michelle && barack...b and jay...dawn && que...rihanna && chris (before the beatdown!lol) nah mostly i want that black love like the original black power couple (OBPC)...
jada && will
lol...honestly they are like the dopest couple....haha
now i just need to crack the door && see who knocks..
=]



talia dunkz

//=idOl x inspiratiOn\\=

scOtt mescudi x va$htie kola

idolxinspiration= motivation && determination
[ l O v e . t h e m]

misz dunkz

=//winning to lose\\=

"saw mah bank account like where is all the O's at?"

- big sean

the title of this post explains exactly how i feel...like honestly...i work hella hard then go to skool && feel as if im nawt even taking one step forward... more like two steps back...

i swear from july 08 to december 08 i took major steps... i got a great job...got a car...&& moved into mah own condo... now its like everything has stopped...like im happy with mah job buh i wanna pursue mah dreams...nawt work for the government forever && i not only want a new car buh need a new car cuz the transmission is eff'n up...&& i love mah condo && eveything in it buh get lonely there at times && just wanna get married already so i can share it all with someone....iont know what it is buh i feel as if im just sittin still....stuck...on pause...

damn..

i need movement in mah life...progress..boxes checked off on this list of goals...dreams to be reached...maybe i've lost focus....yeah thats must be it... i mean i havent been going to church...ive been out partying every weekend && most weekdays...ive been going on random shopping trips that get meeh nowhere...ha ha..buh ive been having fun (well now its starting to wear down)...nawt saying that i wasnt having fun before buh i was living too structured...it was basically work...school...homework...church on sunday && back at it...now its more like work..school...party...shop...party...homework...girls night...sleep//nap...&& back at it....i like that...buh as i can see its far from being focused...

"focused on mah focus"

haha...i used to say that on the daily...cuz i was...damn doode...i feel like im slacking...like i've confused all of mah desires wants && needs up...like iont know what i want or what im doing in life anymore...the only thing im sure of is that i wanna do whats right so that ultimately i get to relax in heaven...

thats it...besides that everything is a gigantic confusing blurr....

tryna get away from the stress from work..personal life...bills...starting this clothing line..

&& skool...

esp with finals && the one year anniversary of darnell passing coming up...yeah..too much stress!

odd yet funny to think that one day ima look back on all that im going thru rii now && think

"wow..how far ive come...if only i wudda knew then what i know now"

cant wait til that day...til then ima...

"just close mah eyes && think of how heaven feels"

-blu

t.dunkz

ilyximy=poOk

=// r a n d O m \\=

-why do we call birds && fish by their names when we're eatin it

(turkey, chicken, salmon, albacore)...

buh when its cow or pig we change the name to

beef, steak, pork, sausage?

are they tryna trick us?

(i know i know...its hella random..buh let that simmer in ya head)

natalia dunkz

=//watch yuhr 6's\\=

its a damn shame when yuhr asz is so comsumed with someone else that yuh waste 99.9% of yuhr day speakin on their name && who && what they did && didnt do...that yuh arent even on top of yuhr own shit. i mean c'mon now...if yuhr gonna spend the majority of yuhr day awl up in someone elses business...then why nawt make sure yuhr shet is in check first...

yuh cant say shit about anyone else when yuhr GROWN asz has no job...no car...house hoppin..dirty tack asz clothes...&& a busted weave or hair cut.

( yes yuh niglets are included in this one as well)

yuh just cant do it...because a majority of the time and by majority i mean 110% of the time yuh are speaking on someone who HAS their shit together physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, && spiritually && looks better than yuh...

(its a fact that ugly people are never hated on....trust meeh...i learned this while getting mah BA in psychology..ha ha) nah...buh i am right cuz who hates on ugly people?? NO ONE...i mean we may stare or take a double glance back...buh HATE//GOSSIP about em....never! lol

so yeah it just erks meeh how doodettes hella be tryna be all around yuh && tryna dress like yuh...do their hair && makeup like yuh...talk like yuh...walk like yuh..change their college && major to yuhrs...shit..probably even try && piss like yuh if they cudd...buh then they be the ones sittin around hatin the MOSt on yuh...h aha...funny...&& doodes..yes doodes...even yall are becoming the new hatin asz gossip queens on the streets... real shit...spreadin everyones business then be actin like yuh dont have time for drama when yuhr asz created it from the jump...ol mother goose asz niglets...stay story tellin like yuh && yuhr mamas life depends on it...then walkin around the block with yuhr faded asz "STOP SNiTCHiNG" TEE ON...gtfoh wit all that..lol

sheeeeit...these days iont even worry about doodettes hatin && gossip'n...its mostly the doodes...

weezy said it best:

"STOP hatin on a nixxa

that is a weak emotion

the lady of a nixxa?"

well nawt the lady buh the BiTCH of a nixxa...

(note:: iont like the word nixxa...too vulgar..i perfer niglet..)

buh then again like i mentioned in a previous blog post...men are the new bitches!!!

complaining..gossiping..&& awl that other lame asz shit yall are doing nowadays is nawt even the business...&& if yuhr doode has another females name in his mouth just a liddle too much...i think yuh need to be worried...hes either on the fruit loop side ove things or he's got something going on with her && is tryna make yuh feel more secure in the situation...so while yuhr sittin around engagin in the gossip with him...yuh need to be worried about where yall's relationship is going...i mean when does that shet...

gossips with their nixxa!!?? ha ha..lames with no fuck'n life...honestly like get a hobby or somethin...it already erks the eff outta meeh when niglets are too emotional so i can just imagine a niglet who im interested in runnin to meeh with some gossip...ugh..automatically unattractive!

&& another thing...doodes..stop bein so quick to hate && talk hit a/b another doode (most likely yuhr homeboi) buh when a female asks..."is he cute"..yuh come with that.."iont judge nixxas" line..haha...remember: if yuh can hate..yuh can congradulate!

woMAN DoWN!!

misz talia dunkz

(im nawt saying i dont engage in gossip..i mean who doesnt..buh i do stay away fom it as much as possible because as the saying goes..

"those who gossip a/b others with yuh...gossip a/b yuh to others"

&& like mah pops tells meeh: "watch yuhr six's")

=//if....and....then maybe.....\\=

from the jump yuh && i

talked..aimed..texted everyday all day long

had the perfect hang out sessions...

gave each other nicknames..

found out so much about each other in just a matter of days..

we connected instantly
which is why I'm so lost to why we fell off all of a sudden...usually I'd blame myself for being too picky&&guarded or yuh for just being weird && lame buh in this case it was neither....I actually let mah guard down&&opened up to yuh...&& yuh...yuh were far from weird or lame...more like interesting && fun..I looked forward to getting aims from yuh while i was working...having a textersation about random ish or just a call before yuh left work..I looked forward to meeting up..grabbin a bite to eat..&&just chillin at the cribbie...I looked forward to the time we'd spend&&the moments we'd share...I looked forward to yuh...

yeah there was that one thing holding meeh back from letting yuh ALL the way in...buh thats from previous experiences with people of "that kind"..besides that i loved our friendship...honestly it was one that i know i will remember forever...all laughter...no dumb asz arguments...just pure fun...

sometimes i wonder if we hadnt taken that one step too far if we'd still be the same...i mean we can both act like its the same every time we see each other...buh honestly...we both know its different...i knew it was different from the moment we were sittin there tryna play shit off like it was kewl...crackin jokes && shit..haha..buh deep down our faces said it all...

thats why i hold out on every hang out session now...cuz i know it wont be the same...

honestly...i'd rather just see yuh when i see yuh like we have been...

plus im tired of having to avoid the same question yuh continuously ask...

"what happened between us?"

because honestly i don't have an answer for yuh yet

thats why i play it off by laughing && changing the subject...

i wish it cudd be the same buh now mah perceptions of yuh have changed a liddle...

maybe because i just wanted us to stay friends && it seemed like yuh were pushing for more...

besides the fact that yuh are the ONLY black doode i even find mahself even attracted to...

physically && mentally we connect && yuh just match mah fly in every way possible... buh i just appreciate the friendship too much to ruin it by taking it further && end up losing yuhr friendship...

when people used to say "i just dunno where to go from here"...i used to think...duh keep it pushin...buh in this situation its like really.....

where DO we go from here?

natalia dunkz

=//i am S U P E R W O M A N\\=

saw this somewhere && it made meeh smile!

"Woman Have Superpowers

We Can Get Wet Without Water

Bleed Without Injury

We Make Boneless Meat Hard

&&

We Can Make Men Eat Without Cooking."

ps... real men eat pussy =]

woMAN DOWN,

misz talia dunkz

=//scavenger hunt\\=

y u m m y

theses were the best!

gonna have to find em somewhere!!!

i already found the cereal!bought 5 boxes!!!

[marquize && marquise && candie..i told yall niglets they used to have the treats cereal!!

fuxx yo rasisin bran mutha fuxx'n crunch!!!ha ha]

t. dunkz

=//r a n d O m\\=

-do deaf people moan when they have sex?

- how do blind people have sex?

-whats up with elves selling food...keeber, lucky charms, snap krackle and pop? i mean how are those two things even related?

- why do we call it "toilet" paper when its for our asz...it shudd be called "asz" paper?

-how do yuh hand cuff an arm amputee?

-why do fat people wear skinny jeans && skinny people wear bubble pants?

-who do they call them bubble pants && nawt fat pants?

-now that dressing like a "nerd" is cool...who gets picked on in school? the people who dress "hood"?

-why does every use drake && wayne songs in their aways to explain themselves or their feeling for their significant other?

-why do animals cartoons have pets?

-Why is Pluto Mickeys pet&& live in a dog house...but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car?

just a few thoughts....

d u n k z

=//this aint jamba juice bOi\\=

"uber juicy..i got that louie..swear have these nixxas screamin JUiCe Me JUiCe Me"

-t. dunkz

late night convo with the homie J led to this topic...
he said verbatim

"everything in the life in natalia is perfect...all happy && smile..has everything she needs..gets whatever she wants..everything is perfect or at least it seems that way"

i was shocked he felt that way...buh then again nawt that shocked... i hear this from E V E R Y doode i meet...i dunno what it is that makes doodes feel that im just a baller with money to spare.. (i wish..lol)

i mean everything i have..i work hella hard for && that doesnt mean ima just hand over money like a piece of starburst..i swear...daygo doodes (black) are so quick to think that they're gonna charm meeh && then ima just hand over the dough..ha ha...uh no no...iont think so... besides the fact that i have mah own needs, wants && desires..the last person i'd give mah mula to is a daygo doode... daygoo doodes are so lame..i swear..

they'll come over mah condo && see im mrs s.O.l.O d.O.l.O...independent asz woman...

they'll ask meeh what i do for a living && the second i tell them the occ..they ask how much i make...i tell them my salary then for some odd reason they get all giddy...mistaken meeh for a hoe && them selves for mah pimp..ha ha...

next come the request//demands..

"ay yuh shudd buy meeh _____"

"ay can yuh do _______for meeh"

"can yuh give meeh $____ for ____"

i mean come the fuxx on doode...like ima seriously be like "okai...here yuh go..do yuh need any xtra?" ha ha...i aint ya mom, hoe, prostie, or suga mama && never will be..seriously...iont know if i look or come off stoopid && naive buh trust && believe i am FAR from it...yuh'll never catch a doode talkin about "yeah i juiced her" when it comes to meeh cuz it just cant be done... like i said before...this aint jamba juice bois...aint no juicin goin on here...i mean why give yuh mah mula? honestly why? i mean if we're nawt hella kewl (like go back to sandbox days) or yuhr nawt the hubbz...then why wudd yuh even ask? lol

plus....

besides the fact that iont need a doode to do shit for meeh, validate, or complete meeh then why even try && juice ? thats the ting iont get about females these days...why be with some doode who is dependent on yuh? ( i think i just got a new topic x 2!lol) like when a doode comes at meeh with request i automatically am nawt only turned off buh disguisted && from there begins the "incognito" phase.. no calls..no txt..no aims..no responses to shit...&& when i see yuh && yuh hit meeh with the...

"what happened natalia?"

ima smile && hit yuh with the infamous ...

"iont know...what do yuh think happened?"

ha ha

woMAN DOWN!

w diamondz && dunkz

misz talia dunkz

**daaaaaamn now i am oh so craving JAMBA JUiCe...look at that up there..yuh cant say it doesnt look delish && yummy! haha**

{hi joshy}

=//where O where have yuh gone....\\=

this is mah beeeyotch!

fuck what yall say... "frank" && "back to black" are great asz albums

&& i wanna come back.....

i hear shes on her way....

w/ dunkz && drinkz

misz talia dunkz

=//pickin cotton\\=

yup...been pickin cotton && other fabrics out for my clothing line..ha ha...damn to see things finally startin to come together i grRrrrreat! im till in the works of getting my ish trademarked && other ish on the business end..buh so far on the creative end...i am on track wit it....

gotta admit..its been hella hard to stay focus'd && give 130% when i have school && work... hella stressful i tell yuh....at least summer is coming up so i can take a break from school && give the line the attention it needs...plus i think i might be in the works of looking for a new GD (graphic designer) the one i have is a dope asz artist..buuuuuh isnt what i thought he'd be..lol...so holla if yuh are one or know one in daygo of course.

welps.. back to la jolla...woMAN down..

m.t.d

=//CaR aCCiDeNT on 4.20...CLaSSiC\\=

last night....

decided to celebrate 4.20 with mah cuzzin candie...

iont even smoke...i actually perfer drinking..(those who personally know meeh know this..lol)

so with the occasion in the air && the hubbz big sean on the ipod touch..blastin in the car...

["smoke n drive"by the hubbz is the offical bali song! && "high together" by shwayze]

we got the first hit of the munchies && a craving for sushi...h aha

so we hit up SuSHi MaN...like usual we park in the handicap spot right in front beacuse i mean why nawt...they're the BESt spots..duh..lol..after fulfilling our craving..we get in the car && i wait for the car behind meeh to pass by so i can back out....i see he passes by then i start to back out...next thing yuh know....i hear...crash! honk!"oh shit!" thats candies ass....its weird cuz all we cudd do was laugh! so her asz is like "just go" buh meeh bing the responhsible person i am ( ha ha) i get out && go look at the back of my car && side of his...just a few minor scratches...no dents...no parts on the ground...no one hurt...so we're good to go....we're exchanging insurance info && i cant stop laughing....even he was laughing along (maybe he was celebratin too..lol) && of course with this happening in fron of the gym (yes college grove where all the black ppl go..lol) everyone was staring as if they had never seen a small accident....

[black ppl are soo rude..haha]

i called up the hotchee who pays mah car insurance to make sure it wudd be straight...he said yep..&& that made the night better automatically..

buh at the end ove it all...it was great he even bought us jamba juice...yeah he was hawaiian or some shit..so basically white so yuh know it was awl good..haha...

hope yall enjoy'd 4.20 as much as meeh!lol

misz dunkz

like mah candie cane says...thats what happens when yuh "smoke n drive" ha ha! holla

=//happy 4.20\\=

"roll the windows up when yuh get in the car//

&& ima lite one uuupp//

hit the gas station..go buy a cigar//

&& a philly bluuuunt//

everytime i breathe its like im takin a puff//

turn the music uuupp//

roll the windows up//

when i smoke && drive"

-the hubbz (smoke n drive)

whoop whoop...its 4.20 yall...time to hit up yuhr local street pharmacist..buy a pack of swishers.. a fresh lighter && get to blowin...

like i always say...

"bali bali pot pot dro dro time"

enjoy && lite up

misz dunkz

=//DoUBLe STaNDaRDs...hmmm\\=

"I would fuck with all ya'll, all of ya'll are beautiful,

i just cant pick one, so you can never say i'm choosy, ho's...

and Wayne say: pussy, pussy, pussy

and weed, and alcohol seems to satisfy us all (damn)

and everytime i think of staying with her she bring that friend around

and make a nigga reconsider "

-Drake

im on mah way to work && this song("every girl") comes on....

aite first off its my cuzzins cd..nawt that im nawt a drake fan buh he pretty much is overly hyped up...i mean yes he is a great rapper...buh i much more perfer big sean && kid cudi...back to the subbz thoe...this song just made meeh think...

"why are there so many double standards favoring men?"

i mean wayne && drake are sittin up here screamin..

"i wish i cudd fuck every girl in the world"

and males as well as females are singing along with them... meeh...i've never personally been a fan of the song so i was quick to hit the eject button...but at the same time...that question remained in mah head.

there are sooo many double standards that favor men and honestly it is rediculous!

a few off the top of the dome wudd be:

-a doode having a team of females makes him a playa//pimp..while a female having a team of doodes makes her a hoe//slut (even if she hasnt slept with them)

-doodes can sleep with 30 females && be known as a pimp/playa/mac while females on the other hand can sleep with 6 doodes and automatically be labeled a hoe/slut/whore

-doodes can use a girl for money, sex, etc and get props and is knownbut the second a female is using a doode for his money, sex, etc she becomes a gold digger//hoe

- a doode having a one night stand is "normal" while a female having a one night stand is "hoeish"

-a doode cheating while in a realtionship is justified by the "im a man..its inevitable" line while a female cheating while in a relationship automatically makes her a "unfaithful lying cheatin asz hoe"

-a doode taking a girl from her boifriend, has his homeboys like "ahhh..yuh chopp'd her down..blah blah blah"...while a female taking a doode from his girlfriend is a homewrecker//hoe...

-a blk doode dating a wht female is all high fives && shit...while a blk female dating a wht doode is her "selling out"....

honestly i think it is bullshit..these standards shudd be the same for EVERYONE..nawt just doodes..becasue the way i see it is if yuhr a doode out there fuxxing everygirl in the world then guess what...yuhr a hoe too! yuhr no different just because yuh have a dick..nope yuhr nasty too...if nawt nastier! i mean c'mon now...what if a female had came out with that song first...talking bout "i wish i cudd fuxx every nixxa in the world" would the hiphop community be as receptive to it? wudd it...

A. make more doodes want that female

or would it..

B. have both females and males viewing her as some kind of hoe...

i'd bet anything the on B.

honestly there are probably only like three double standards that favor woman...

-a female saving herself for marriage is honorable while a doode saving himself for marriage is a big question mark to most or makes him "scared of puxxy"

- a female being a lesbian is attractive && considered a turn on to most doodes...while a doode being gay is a turn off to both male and female. && usually most doodes who love "girl on girl" action are the most homophobic doodes yuh'll ever meet when it comes to gay men!

&& lastly

- a girl can hit a doode yet a doode cant hit a girl

(expect when CB beat em down is involved..j/k..they are STILL mah fave couple!)

buh i mean thats it...really...thats all us girls get...good if we're a lesbian or saving ourselves...

as ignorant as it sounds..thats how society is...

too bad a majority of females havent realized the power that they hold...like i always say...

"PUSSY iS PoWER when yuh use it the right way!"

so to my ladies out there...flip the script on these double standards && doodes && think with yuhr mind && nawt with yuhr pussy...use yuhr pussy for POWER!!

woMAN DoWN!!!

misz dunkz

=//i trip'd in LOVe with him//FReSH MiXTaPe!!!\\=

i told yall about mah future hubbz in a previous post...now is the time for yuh to go download his FReSH MiXTaPe... "UKNOWBIGSEAN" ...goooo NOW...d/l it!

his swag is uber dope && his rhymes are cocaine..

no hes nawt a dope dealer...its BIG SEAN manye!

los angeles born, detroit raised,

g.o.o.d youngest member

ha ha..i love this doode! honestly besides the fact the he's nawt bad on the eyes, hes nawt bad on the ears either...hes actually one ove the dopest in the game right now..in mah personal opinion..from his voice to his rhymes..everything this doode spits is on point. nawt to mention he is the prodigy ove "mr west himself"....hawt shit i tell yuh hawt shit. i first heard his shit while listenin to kid cudi on youtube...Big Sean was in related searches && i thought..might as well listen && i swear yall..from that point on i was in love. I listen to this man from morning til night..nothing else(okai..maybe cudi&&lupe..lol)...from "smoke n drive" to "cooler than me" feat mike posner...i listen to it awl..so if yuh dont know then puhleeze do yuhrself a favor && go download the mixtapes...NOW!!!!!

"Finally Famous" vol.1 The Mixtape (click the pic to download the mixtape vol1)

&&

FReSHeST MiXTaPe!!!!!!!!!(04.16.09)

"U Know Big Sean" finally famous vol.2

(click the pic to download the mixtape vol2)

::dope shit..trust && believe::

off the dome..tracks to definitely listen to off both mixtapes wudd be:

"smoke n drive" "dreams" "we known" "supa dupa" "desire, want & need"&& also

"cooler than meeh" " who knows"( which are both with musical genius Mike Posner )

trust meeh when i say that after listenin to "smoke n drive" yuh will definently wanna go get a swisher && roll a bleezie with the best bali money can buy..even if yuh dont smoke...ha ha..iont smoke && i get that feeling..its unbelievable the way he delievers his rhymes...his voice is so charasmatic that it makes yuh wanna get up && produce some sort ove action..whether it be singing along or dancing yuhr asz off...either way Big Sean is one new artist i can see making it platinum x 100 many times... esp with Ye' by his side... so click on any ove the pics above to download the mixtape && enjoy..

holla at a gangsta (thats meeh)

misz t dunkz

oh && look out for his album droppin the this fall..."Finally Famous" the album..

yuh can listen to "million dollars" off the album here

<--------or click over here && check out his website, blog, or youtube

for more music && info on mah future hubbz..

smooches && dueces

(hi sean)

=//MEN are the new BiTCHeS syndrome = CHeATiNG\\=

the homegirl calls meeh recently...heartbroken over some lame asz niglet...why...cuz he played hella games+wasnt sure of what he wanted+hella insecure= the conclusion of their "relationship"...all i cudd do was give her mah advice based on previous doodes i talked to...which ove course lead to meeh tellin her..."FUxx NixxAs!" so then i had to really break it down && even ask mahself questions...starting with...

"why is it that doodes feel the need to constantly play games?"

is it that they are so used to sitting in front ove the television with their XBOZ 360 and PS3 controllers stuck in their hand that they have confused reality with an video game?

seriously...these days it seems as if doodes bring more drama && games to the able then doodettes...this bringing meeh to the title ove mah post...

"MEN are the NEW BiTChES SYNDROME"

true asz statement...i swear...some of the symptoms include:

they complain about everything

hella insecure

faaatttt jealous && want yuh to stay home DAiLY w them

hella emotional buh stay frontin'

playin games to get yuhr attention

hella be tryna cuddle up when yuh DONT want to

(buh ove course front a.b this as well..ha ha)

&& i know its nawt just meeh feelin like this cuz a few of the homegirls have reported their doodes as having the same exact symptoms..h aha...

dont get meeh wrong...i love to stay home with mah hubbz && cuddle it up...buh im nawt gonna have a bitch fit if we're in the car && hes talking on the phone (unless its the WHOLE damn ride..i mean thats just rude..lol) or if he wants to go out with his homebois...

No...ima do meeh...NAWT as in cheating

{daygo dooettes are quick to be like.."oh hes goin out girl...well im goin out too.." then they go fuxx some niglet ..regret it...have an arguument with their doode..get mad...blurt out they fuxx'd some niglet..&& then what do we have??? DRAMA..ha ha}

buh "do meeh" as in okai...hes's goin out with his bois..well maybe i'll take this time to catch up on some homework or do a hobbie of my own (shopping..haha) or go hang with my girls && have a girls night...

doodes on the other hand CAN NOT do this...

it is both physically && mentally inpossible(sometimes emotionally)

the second a female wants to go spend some eime with her dooettes...here comes this niglet...talking about how yall dont spend enuff time together && yuhr lways tryna go out && dahtity dah dah...

this rii here is when yuhr doode has just turned BiTCH on yuh...

actually one of the first symptoms..as i listed above..yep.."complaining"..

doodes ARE NOT suppose to act like this...they are suppose to be confident in what they are doing at home//in their relationship...

i mean c'mon..why trip if yuh know that she's gonna come rii back home to yuh?

(cuz hes insecure...another symptom..lol)

&& plus if yuh got that "tony the tiger" syndrome

{everything about yuh is GrRRRrrreat..from yalls mental connect to yalls phyical connection}

then why wudd she even contemplate cheating?

unless yuh have that MNB syndrome && yurh sex is wack..ha ha

NoOOo..im nawt saying relationships are awl about sex..buh lets just be honest..the one of the only reason a doode trips about his girl going out is because hes afraid she'll cheat && find something better (sex && connection wise) so thats where sex comes into play...

oh shit....i lost mah train of thought ............fuxx it...

basically with niglets constantly actin like bitches these days...females cheating is only a hop skip && jump away..h aha...&& when i say bitches i dont neccessarily mean doodes because we know anyone can be a bitch..from yuhr grand ma to yuhr liddle nephew...haha && that rii there is a true asz statement... so this goes for both doodes && dooodettes...awl that drama..is really unnecessary!

besides MNB syndrome..another issue that will have yuhr significant other cheating in a flash is Fluking...buh thats really a whole nother topic...im OUT..woMAN DOWN!!!holla at a gangsta(thats meeh)

with diamondz && dunkz

mizs dunkz

=//swAck sessiOn < shOpping (repost)\\=

blogging is a/b being honest..its about writing truthfully && being who yuh are...its about letting other (strangers) get to know a liddle bit about yuh && letting them have a small glance into yuhr life....therefore..i can admit to things && can't really be judged...lol...with that being said...i have a confession....i have an addiction... an addiction my mom actually got meeh counseling for...lol...yep..im addict'd to shopping....

now...im nawt like other doodettes who claim they have an addiction to shopping buh are constantly at F21 and Macys at the clearance racks....NO...I have an addiction to shopping for top of the line shit from LV to YSL...i dont care if it is a shoelace or a hangbag..i just have to have it...&& im nawt knockin F21 or Macys or their shoppers (cuz i enjoy F21 at times..they have improved i can say..lol && i used to be employeed by Macys back in the day..they suxx..lol)

buh im just saying...i like to shop...whether it be a mood enhancer for the day or a party im about to hit up...i always have to hit the boutiques first! ha ha...

at times it makes it hard to buy others presents when the stores are just filled with goodies that seem as if they were just for meeh..lol...

see to meeh....shopping is like a fresh swack sessin with yuhr love...

yuh go in already knowing what’s about to happen buh yuh don’t care…

awl yuh know is that yuh’ve got an itch && its gotta be scratched…

so yuh proceed && make sure yuh have plastic in yuhr damier louis vuitton wallet//purse

because that the only way yuhr fully protected…

yuh feel around && get used to the beauty in front of yuh….

from racks in the front to the goodies in the back…

yuh know by the end of this experience yuh will have fulfilled yuhr very desire….

yuh feel around a bit…

concentrating on what yuh came here for….

starting slow….

making yuhr way from the top of the store to the bottom…

front to back….

maybe even switch it up a bit….

things start getting hawter….

yuhr speed accelerates a liddle more….

then yuhr almost at yuhr peak…

yuhr hands are full of goodness…

yuh don’t want to just stop….

yuh go in a liddle deeper….

&& that’s when yuhr speed hits full power…

yuhr hands are awl over the place

buh yet nawt to far from this beautiful work ove art in front ove yuh….

yuhr making noises yuh didn’t even know yuh cudd make….

yuhr feeling pleasure yuh didn’t even know was possible..

&& then yuhr spot gets hit….

nawt just once buh over && over && over && awwwwwwww..

there it is…

yuhr plastic is socking wet..

yuhr body is exhausted (yet yuh want more)

yuhr palms are sweaty….

buh now yuh are fully pleasured..

satisfied like no other….

&& like any good swack session//shopping trip //romantic relationship as such…

yuh leave the store with more baggage then yuh entered with

buh in the end its what yuh get out ove it…ha ha

Damn…iont know whether to go shopping now or get a bar..ha ha..j/k…

buh thats how it is for meeh....shopping...it is the ultimate pleasure..h aha

with diamondz && dunkz

misz dunkz